And then it came to me. I just needed to get over it. There was never going to be a scenario where I magically became a stay at home mom, and deep deep down, I don't think I would ever be ready to leave my students all together. Even though I tried to keep my emotions on the "this isn't fair" front, I wasn't doing a good job. And the ongoing pity party was not benefitting anyone, especially myself. So I got over it. And I feel happier because of it. Sure, this doesn't mean sometimes I get bummed that I'm not the one getting to snuggle our baby every morning, but the point is, she's being snuggled by her parent, and that is what matters. The day is a very long thing, and when you do the math, everly is sleeping about 4 of my 8 hour work day, which isn't too shabby for the check that helps supports our family. So bottom line, mindset is everything. Coming to terms with how things are is not particularly easy sometimes, but once you master the mindset, you can start enjoying the life you have.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Just get over it already.
This is a phrase I had to tell myself a lot this year. And when I mean a lot, that may be an understatement. Being a mom is hard however the cards are dealt, and for me, I was really struggling coming to terms with being a "working mom". I found that when I was in the classroom, I was fine. Enjoying my career and not thinking a thousand times a day how much I missed my daughter. In fact, because teaching keeps you SO busy, I never really had time to think about it. And everyday when my daughter comes to have lunch with me, it is the thirty minutes I need to reconnect with her and get a little push to get me through my last two classes. And even with all of this, I was still grumpy, almost angry, that I wasn't at home full time.