Thursday, February 26, 2015

that princess thing

Oh my daughter.  Not a stitch of pink was in your nursery, and very little in your wardrobe, unless it was gifted to you.  I did not let you wear animal print, or anything with too many sparkles, and even the bows I popped on your head to identify you as in fact a girl, were made of felt and never over-stated.  At one we foolishly bought you grey vans in a size that would fit you the next year, excited to find some good 'basic' shoes that should match pretty much any outfit, and yes, they were in the "boys" department.  Little did we know, that by two, we were no longer calling the shots on your likes and dislikes.  You, my dear Everly, have been bitten by the princess bug.  At least that is what I am calling it.  Favorite color, pink, tutus are a must, you enjoy when others around you are also wearing dresses, and will compliment them as you should by stating, "you are a pretty princess".  Your black flats are now called "princess shoes" and the only ones you will wear, sometimes you request a third pony tail and affectionately call it your "princess pony".  We twirl like princesses, we dance like princesses, and we sip tea like them too.  One week [this week] you even wore a princess pajama dress for three days, straight .  And no, we didn't call it a jammy, because someone is against the idea of jammies, so instead, you wore your "house dress" everywhere, and your dad and I just had to look the other way.
Fighting your expression is pointless.  Because we aren't really fighting over clothes after all, and thank goodness we live in a region of mild winters, because of course, coats cover princess dresses, and you aren't too fond of that.  I love that you already know what you like, and dislike, and your personality is clear.  You will never be a person who needs to be told what to do.  You will be a leader, and yes, I can see that from the stage I am now referring to as "the great princess debacle".  I will not fight what you enjoy, and that is in fact, being girly.  I wasn't girly, and I'm still not, and that is okay.  You were not spoon fed this persona, it was yours to take, and that is exactly what you are doing. 
Lesson be learned, you can't make your kids like what you like, and you aren't going to persuade them they aren't a princess, if in fact, they are pretty sure they are.  Let them experience the world, and they will choose what they will take, and let their imaginations flourish.  Right now Everly is like a little sampler pack of those around her and the experiences she has had so far.  She gravitates towards areas I would never have imagined, and the ride has been enlightening.  We will continue to build a path to guide her to greatness, and she will select the stops.  And while we are knees deep in the stage that feels frustrating and never ending, because geez, this kid has meltdowns like you wouldn't believe over her outfits, this too shall pass, and hopefully we will all be a bit stronger and wiser because of it.

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