the year she was clara

words cannot express my love for everly, and how proud I am to be her mama everyday.

and then you find out that her dream goal of becoming clara for her ballet studio's production of the nutcracker and it really all comes full circle.  

this was the year she was clara.

a winter recital [on Zoom]

well, if there is just a perfect way to end 2020, cancel the nutcracker ballet, replace it with a 'winter ball' streamed on Zoom.  sounds about right.

all sarcasm aside, I was so thankful to give everly this chance to perform.  this chance to feel like just one little piece of her life is normal, when really, nothing else is.

school is still online, indefinitely.

she still cannot see any of her friends, unless it is on an ipad screen.

our holiday plans are getting slimmer by the minute.  

and she's still grieving not having her grandma here with us anymore.

so to say I'm feeling hopeful for a new year, that is the understatement of the century.  

music:

"Underneath the Tree" by Kelly Clarkson

 "Happy X-Mas" by John Lennon

her first nutcracker ballet

in just a year, everly has developed a love for ballet so intense it is amazing such a little one can be so devoted to one experience.  from her very first class she showed her focus and excitement for dance.  the past two days have been such an amazing end to her first year of ballet.  she has performed in the nutcracker three times in two days with another two rehearsals prior to that.  and even with all of that, as we left the theater last night, I could tell she was a little down.  when I inquired what was wrong, she just told me that she was sad it was all over, and that she wanted to be on stage again.  while twirling down the steps in front of the theater, she quickly changed gears to, "I wonder what I'll be in the June recital" and then continued by listing every part she one day hopes to play in the Nutcracker.

this year she played a girl in the opening of act I, a tapping soldier, and a snowflake.  it was a whirlwind that first night, but it was such a fun experience to have.  every where I turned there was a mom from one of her classes there to help me.  while I tackled a hair change, another mom helped her with her gloves.  when the soldier skirt was just too tiny and wasn't quite flowing like the other girls, another mom went over to the rack and changed out her skirt so that everly matched the rest of her classmates perfectly.  and when it came time to finally make our last costume switch, only large sizes were left of the snowflake dress [I learned a few tricks for next year - rookie mom here].  another mom pulled the safety pin off her daughter and helped me fit the dress to everly.  talk about a positive female experience for my daughter to be surrounded by.

so here's a look at our time on stage for everly's first nutcracker.  these photos were taken over the two nights, some shots were even taken during their rehearsal. 

^one of my favorite shots the mr. took - you can tell she's a little terrified of the porcelain doll.  we had many prep talks about them, I don't think they helped^

on night two we got to see so many older dancers on pointe, everly was in heaven.  

and for the record, I'm pretty sure my tiny dancer was wearing the costume on the right

it's okay, she pulled off the floor length snow flake dress!

thanks Trick's Dance Studio for putting on an amazing Nutcracker with some of the tiniest dancers around!